The Heart Wants What It Wants

On this rock I will build my church.

That’s how I feel about my new laptop. It’s small. It’s underpowered. It’s totally impractical in every sense of the word. It has virtually no ports.  It is so slight, I’ll surely smash it in twain within a fortnight. Worst of all, it’s wildly expensive.

But I love it.

The new Macbook just seduced me. I was looking at the Air. I was even considering, on a theoretical level, some sort of Linux laptop that would be orders of magnitude cheaper. But I just kept coming back to the new, ultralight, ultrasleek Macbook. I walked away and it drew me back again… and again. I tried to resist. I tried to be reasonable, to calculate costs, to detach myself from that sexy smooth interface, those keyboard keys which stretched just imperceptibly beyond the plane of the computer.

But I couldn’t. There was no denying that, no matter the impracticality, I simply loved the new Macbook. I couldn’t go back to a computer without those sleek keys.  The Air felt heavy, like a sad piece of 1980’s technology.  It’s protruding, elephantine keys embarrassed me.  Its superfluous spaces were love handles.  I could not stop my eyes from straying back to that luscious Space-Grey metallic board, those lines so slim, you’d think they’d belong in Flatland.

Practically Two Dimensional
Practically Two Dimensional

As I grazed its surface with my fingers, I kept thinking of all the great things, I’d compose with it.  What wondrous apps could come out of its divine proportions?  What words would be found gazing into its retina display resolution? Who could say?  Those would be the easy parts, surely, once that laptop were in my possession.  All  I needed were those keys and all the rest would simply fall into place. I bought it.

It is beautiful. Now that this post is the first thing I’ve done with it, the dream of composing epic works is already crashing hard into disappointment. Maybe its seductive look won’t lead me to some great creative insight after all. Nevertheless, I’m quite pleased I got it: the heart wants what it wants.